I wanted to share my second birth story with you all as I had such an amazing response the first time round. It’s also quite nice listening to other people’s experiences if you’ve had children before or are expecting. Every birth and pregnancy is so different but lots have similarities so it’s nice knowing you’re not alone. I had an elective c section with Marley which I know to some people will seem really odd. ‘Why would you chose to have a section?’ Is something I’ve been asked by so many people so thought I’d explain it a bit more.
I had a really traumatic long 3 day labour with Otis which I was determined not to have this time around. I was positive I didn’t want to be induced and positive I didn’t want an emergency section, which I nearly had to have on several occasions while in labour with Otis. This time round I wanted to feel fully in control, I wanted to know Otis was looked after on a specific day. I wanted to know there was definitely no risk of induction if I was to go overdude and I wanted to make sure korey was able to be there for the birth and the days surrounding it, which in Sport is not often possible. In sport there is no such thing as paternity leave! I had extreme anxiety about giving birth again and I really felt that a C section was the best option for me.
My midwifes were amazing and so understanding, they could see how anxious and unhappy I was about the prospect of another tricky birth and they completely stood by my cesearan decision. Unfortunately the consultant I was booked to see wasn’t so understanding, in fact she couldn’t have been more insensitive if she tried. I went to her very anxious, hormonal and upset and left feeling even more so. She made unnessaray rude comments towards me and was extremely judgemental. Although I may not have had a medical reason for a section I expected that my anxiety and fear of giving brith would have been taken into account. I felt that my mental health was also important in this decision. The Consultant disagreed, She spoke to me as if I was a young child who knew nothing about life, let alone motherhood and birth she thought I wanted the ‘easy option’ Which I am well aware a C section is not! Luckily I found an inner strength during our meeting and although I was refused a section several times I left with a date, much to her disgust. I was fully aware of all the risks and completely respect her job is to to explain them all in depth. I do feel however she shouldn’t have made comments such as “it deeply upsets me to give you a C- section” because it shouldn’t upset her, at the end of the day it’s my baby, my body and my right to give birth however I want to.
We had everything arranged, Mallory was coming to be there for the birth as she was for Otis. My section date was then moved forward a day, which was pretty exciting and daunting. I had to take some pre op medication the night before. On the morning of the op I had to drink a hideous drink and off we went to hospital for my 8am arrival time. I was first on the list (luckily) and was in theatre no later than 8.30! By 9.04 I gave birth to Marley and the whole procedure took about 1.5 hours. The experience was completely and utterly surreal. I went into theatre pretty anxious and started nervously crying as soon as I layed down on the bed. I was given a spinal block which was probably the most uncomfortable part of the whole thing, it seemed to go in forever and my anxiety definitely made it worse. Koreys face was tightly pressed against mine as that’s the only thing that seemed to calm me down. I felt nothing after that only prodding and tugging which was quite strange but as soon as Marley was born and placed on my chest I was so calm and everything seemed so peaceful. We had skin on skin while they stitched me up and all I could focus on was him and Korey and I was in that newborn bubble of just pure love and happiness. Something you really can’t explain. When they had finished I was wheeled back to my room where Mallory was waiting for us and I just felt really tired and drained. The spinal block slowly started to wear off which is when the pain started and I have to say it was pretty damn painful. You forget that everything you do uses some kind of stomach muscle and mine has just been ripped apart so it wasn’t great! In fact I couldn’t really do anything. My sister and Korey were absolutely amazing and so were the midwifes. They helped with everything which allowed me to not push myself and get the rest I needed. I remember the staff asking if I wanted help with Otis the first time round and I told them I didn’t as I just wanted to do it all myself but this time I took all the help I could get. They helped me with night feeds and nappy changes and went above and beyond to make sure I didn’t put strain on myself.
A lot of people ask if a section was easier or harder than my natural birth but I really couldn’t compare them. They were both so different and both have lots of pros and cons. At the end of the day that is what I decided and I don’t regret it at all. Marley is truly scrumptious just like his brother and I’ll cherish both my birth experiences forever.