So baby no2 is baking nicely and I’m getting bigger by the day, well it feels that way anyway. The due date is fast approaching and we are all so excited to meet the fourth family member. When I found out I was pregnant I think like most people I felt a wave of emotions, excitment, worry, denial, guilt, happiness, the list could go on. Although I always wanted siblings for Otis I never really knew when I wanted that to be. I already have a baby and I’m having another one? How is that going to work is a question I keep asking myself.
I feel guilty that I soon want have as much time for Otis as I once did. I don’t want him to feel like he’s lost me or doesn’t get a look in so I’m constantly thinking of ways to stop that from happening. Even though really theres only one of me and soon going to be two of them so I’m just going to have to do my best, like all mums do.
I feel terrified about giving birth again, like I can’t even talk about that subject for too long because it scares me so much. Saying that I couldn’t be more excited for that first meeting of my new baby. I think anyone who has had children would relive that moment over and over. It really is the best feeling in the world so I feel so excited and lucky that I’m soon going to experience that again and this time it won’t just be us meeting him, it’ll be Otis too which I know is going to be so special. It gives me goosebumps thinking about it.
Over the last few days Otis has been waking up at 5:45 instead of 7:30 like normal and it’s made me remember how horrific sleep deprevation is. I think he’s preparing us for what’s to come, it’s like he secretly knows. Will I ever sleep again? AHHHH. Pray I have a sleeper. I feel really guilty talking about my worrys about baby no2 because it almost sounds like I’m not happy which isn’t true. But I think these emotions are really normal and love being honest and sharing things with you all, I hope some of you can relate and feel better knowing that you’re not alone.
Lots of love, Hattie xxx